When you're pregnant, you dream of holding that sweet baby, and the world is a happy place. But then you're sent into shock when instead of you have a baby with colic screaming all day and all night, pooping blood, mucus and screaming with every feed, minimal weight gain, poor growth, and loss of energy. Alexa wanted to sleep all the time! We dealt with it with our first born, but Alexa seemed to be worse in a different way. Never did I think I'd be going through this again with my second child. Every feed was a battle. She would scream in pain every time we tried to feed her. It was so hard for me to see her in pain all the time.
It's so hard when you're already sleep deprived, with an active toddler, and suffering from PPD, to feel calm and tender when it's 3 a.m., you haven't slept for more than 45 minutes at a stretch for more than a month. For the first month and a half I bounced her on a yoga ball for hours. Then we were able to finally graduate to bouncing her on the ball in her car seat, because I found that as soon as she'd fall asleep she'd wake up if I put her in her bed.
I needed escape, but at the same time I felt bad to leave Alexa alone with her father, let alone a babysitter. I felt trapped, or doomed to be trapped with this child, whom I both loved and yet could not stand due to her incessant crying that sent my hormones and ears into over drive. My parents live 100 miles away, so getting any relief was not going to happen.
Everything we tried for her worked for a few days: switching bottles, switching donors, switching her formula, putting her on goats milk...etc..We tried everything we could think of medicinally: zantac, gripe water, medicines, pacifiers, keeping her propped up in her car seat as she slept. Nothing but only constant bouncing would help. everything only helped for a few days at a time then the colic monster would come back. Don't get me wrong here, I absolutely adore my precious baby girl. It was just harder to adore her with prolonged crying that did not give up. If she gave me a couple good days of low crying, I could recover and love her through it. But it just wore me out when I had no relief.
The only thing you can count on with colic is that your baby's going to cry, you're not going to sleep, and it will feel like the worst all-nighter you ever pulled, with no end in sight. Here's a short clip of what I deal with 24-7:
5 comments:
Have you put out a post on Only The Breast? Most of the posters sell their breastmilk at a cost of $2 - $3, but some simply donate. There are a number of different dietary restrictions (gluten free, casein free, only organic, vegan) that certain moms hold to - http://www.onlythebreast.com/ I hate to suggest paying so much when it may strain your budget, but this is one of the only sites I know of where you can locate the kind of milk you need.
God bless!
Have you tried taking a fenugreek tea to help milk production. If I was nursing and milk free I would help you. I have donated breast milk before and used fenugreek to help increase my milk production. It makes you smell like maple syrup and can be purchased as a seasoning at Indian food markets. I went from 10 oz to 25 oz in my morning pumping session. I hope you have luck! I commend you for your efforts.
I was selling my over supply, but would gladly donate it to you. It just dropped massively and I am struggling to make enough my self. If I can get my supply back up, I will start sending you my extra! Best of luck!
What state do you live in? You CAN get insurance to pay for that expensive formula. My son had to be on Elecare and our insurance wouldn't pay for it. Go to your local welfare office. There is a category called PH95, which will possibly cover your infant without counting you or your husband's income. It's sort of a loophole in the federal government. Request an MA application along with a health sustaining medication form that your doctor will have to fill out. It is a long process and you will still have to supply a ton of info: ex: paystubs, ss cards, birth cert., etc etc etc. But get all the requested items in as fast as possible because you'll have another option for your child faster :)
Hello! I just read your blog and my heart goes out to you. I have a 3 year old daugther that has milk allergies, so I really can empathize with your situation. I am praying for you! I wish I had breastmilk to donate to you, but I don't. What I do have is a page on Facebook that is a dedicated forum for moms of milk allergic kids. I literally just started it because I thought we all needed a place to go to be able to talk with other moms like us. If you are interested, the name of the page is Milk Allergy Mommies.
Wishing you the BEST of luck.
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